the dollhouse....

in my dreams last night....

i was in a dollhouse...well a house that sold doll parts.

i think i was lost, im sorry that im lost.

the dream came in 3 parts....and the house was three stories.

FIRST FLOOR

well this floor was more like a underground wine cellar...

sold exotic wines, pretty dingy as hell. there was pipes leaking green water. powdered wine..i saw. very odd. shelves and shelves full of dusting away wines. and barrels stacked high. bottles, jars, vases, glasses, all full of wine. the girl that was watching me seemed very nervous and proud. she told me this was her life's work, her children. she dosen't advertise, she dosen't own a shop, she dosen't distribute. she only provides to lost souls and old people. these shelves carry recipes from all around the world she says. they are worth more than you can imagine. she believed that these wines should only be given to people who don't know where and why they are here (lost souls) and the elderly that need to see the world for a few moments longer before they depart.

she poured me a glass.

SECOND FLOOR

honestly i walked into one of those old elevators that pull up....i got out and i felt like i was pretty buzzed...now as i got here, i felt like i was in a mansion, velvet drapery, carpet, fresh roses in vases. the people there looked like they should be attending some funeral in the 1920's. black veils on their faces and they all were rushing and chattering. it was all business in there. i walked down a hallway and saw all these people were squeezing in what looked like showrooms. everyone was in line, and i wanted to see what was on the other end...so i got in line. when i was in front (it took like 2 seconds in dream-time) i asked what they sell.... The lady was dressed like what a 1920's flight attendant would dress. "OH! we sell dollparts, mmhhmm yess dollparts and simply as it is doll parts!" why are so many people in line for doll parts? "HAHA (yes it was as creepy as it sounds...) well because they are missing their parts silly...so we provide them, through every traumatic expierience, every fall, every broken heart, rape, murder.....WE FIX THEM!" she smiled..."you just come here and replace your damaged part free of charge and go back out there just like new!" oh.. "do you need any replacements?" um yeah i actually do, but i want to live with my broken parts.."NEXT!!" i turned around a what looked like normal people before, were porcelian like dolls, that had arms missing, legs, eyes, noses, and some were just naked. they all looked so frightened, sad and incomplete.. i walked out feeling a little empty and continued down a hallway that started getting darker, things weren't so fancy looking anymore, floorboards began creaking, cobwebs began appearing, a terrible stench started emanting, wallpaper torn... then i saw four or five men, frantically boarding up doors with plywood. they were sweating, crying, bleeding and praying. i heard something saying that i need to run...

and i ran.

THE THIRD AND FINAL FLOOR

I ran to up to this floor, and suddenly im wearing different clothes. Im in a plain black dress, pearls, my hair is amazingly full, unlike now. im wearing white flats. this story is one large room, soo incredibly big i was like an ant in a football field. it was luxuroius, there was a wall full of windows and the streets below were unpaved, the sky was sepia and light blue, the sun was gleming through the clouds and there was a fresh produce market full of happy people, there were fountains and trees and acres of flowers. it was beautiful and surreal. the rest of the room was full of shelves of books, a hell of a lot of books, there were about five chandeliers incredibly beautiful, and there was a man playing the harp in a corner, and that was the only sound heard. he was wearing a tux and was very much into his music. on the other end, there was a turned armchair facing a large window... i saw puffs of smoke coming from it. a voice from there said " you are going to reach a new phase of your life...." "what you just passed through, you are going to be lost, for a long time. then you will realized what you are missing, and when you get a chance to retrieve what you lost but you decide not to and it will bring you many hardships and fear and others will be scared for you, but in the end, you will realize what it has all come down to and will have no regrets. your life has been worthwhile and you sit here in solace and peace and watch others and the beauty that continues long after you are gone." she turned around and she was an eldery lady, i have not seen before. she was wearing a spoon turned into a bracelet.

i wear a fork bracelet everyday.

.....

Now i know that was very detailed and elaborate for a dream, but it was mighty detailed and reevaluated and clarified things that i coudn't make sense of when i woke up, but throughly going through it helped me understand.